A Message to Every Parent

Hawley Campbell
Jul 17
4 min read

Recognizing the Signs: How My Son's Journey Illuminated My Own Undiagnosed Past

For years, I navigated the world with a quiet understanding of my struggles. Poor grammar, inconsistent spelling, and a constant battle to sound out words were just "my normal." I learned to compensate, to work harder, and to find ways around my difficulties. Looking back, I now see the clear signs of what was likely undiagnosed dyslexia. And as someone with diagnosed ADHD, verified by QBTech testing, I recognize how those attention challenges profoundly impacted my academic efforts.

But it wasn't until I saw similar patterns emerging in my own son that the pieces of my past truly clicked into place.

The Echoes of My Own Childhood

When my son started school, I began to notice familiar struggles. He had trouble with spelling, his grammar wasn't quite clicking, and the act of sounding out new words seemed to be a constant, uphill battle for him. He'd get easily distracted when faced with reading tasks, and his frustration would mount. It was like looking into a mirror of my younger self.

I vividly remember my older brother and I sitting at the kitchen table, our father trying patiently, then with increasing frustration, to teach us how to read. His mere exasperation, born from a lack of understanding of why we weren't "getting it," often left us in tears. In my day, the understanding of learning differences like dyslexia and ADHD was far less developed. Teachers and parents, with the best intentions, often attributed such struggles to a lack of effort, intelligence, or simply needing to "try harder." There were no widespread screenings, no clear diagnostic pathways, and certainly not the wealth of knowledge and support systems available today. So, I pushed through, developed my own coping mechanisms, and often felt a quiet sense of inadequacy.

A Different Path for My Son

Watching my son, I knew I couldn't let him walk the same path of unaddressed struggle. My own experience, now understood through the lens of my own ADHD and suspected dyslexia, fueled a fierce determination to ensure he received the understanding and support I never did. I observed closely:

Difficulty with phonics: He struggled to connect sounds to letters and blend them into words, just as I had.
Inconsistent spelling and grammar: His written work showed patterns of errors that went beyond typical developmental stages.
Attention challenges during reading: While he could focus on other activities, reading tasks seemed to quickly deplete his mental energy, leading to distraction and avoidance.

My instincts screamed that this wasn't about effort or intelligence; it was about how his brain was wired.

The Power of Proactive Support

My journey to get my son help was not straightforward. Initially, the school informed me he needed to be evaluated for ADHD, citing his "disruptive behavior" that was affecting other students. Yet, in the very next breath, I was told there was a long waiting list, and that there were "kids far worse off" than my son. Despite this dismissive response, the daily calls from the school continued, a constant reminder of his struggles and their impact.

It wasn't until a compassionate male teacher, seeing our predicament, quietly advised me to pursue an independent evaluation. He understood the system and the necessity of external validation. Armed with my observations and this crucial advice, I sought out professionals – educational specialists and psychologists – who could provide a comprehensive evaluation for his challenges. It was a journey of learning, understanding, and sometimes, pushing for the right resources.

The diagnosis, when it came, was not a label of deficit, but a roadmap. It confirmed that he had ADHD, and while the specific reading and writing difficulties strongly suggested dyslexia (mirroring my own suspected experience), the focus of his support became addressing these symptoms and his diagnosed ADHD. This explained why he was struggling, rather than simply that he was struggling.

When I presented the school with the official assessment report, the shift was immediate and profound. The same male teacher who had guided me looked at the report and exclaimed, "Wow, I did not know how intelligent your son was!" With the diagnosis in hand, the school was legally obligated to make accommodations for him, and the daily calls finally ceased, replaced by a collaborative approach to his learning.

However, the public school system, despite the diagnosis, remained overburdened. Recognizing that my son needed a more specialized environment, I made the difficult decision to take him out of public school. From 5th grade to 10th grade, he attended a preparatory school specifically designed for children with ADHD, where he received tailored instruction and support. This dedicated environment allowed him to truly thrive. After that, he transitioned to a charter school in Florida, continuing his educational journey with a foundation of understanding and appropriate strategies.

This understanding unlocked a world of support:

Targeted Interventions: He began working with specialists who used evidence-based, multi-sensory approaches to teach reading and spelling, directly addressing his phonological processing challenges.
Accommodations: We learned about accommodations that could level the playing field for him in school, such as extended time for reading and writing tasks, access to audiobooks, and tools like text-to-speech software.
Emotional Support: Crucially, he received validation that his struggles weren't his fault. This helped protect his self-esteem and fostered a growth mindset.
Leveraging Strengths: We focused on nurturing his natural talents and interests, ensuring he felt competent and capable in many areas, not just where he faced challenges.

A Message to Every Parent

My son's journey has been transformative, not just for him, but for our whole family. It's shown me the immense power of early intervention and the profound difference it makes when learning differences are understood and supported.

If you're a parent seeing similar signs in your child:

Trust your instincts: You know your child best. If something feels "off" with their learning, don't dismiss it.
Seek professional evaluation: A formal diagnosis is the key to understanding your child's unique learning profile and accessing appropriate support. Don't wait for the school system to catch up if your child is struggling.
Advocate relentlessly: Be your child's strongest advocate within the school system and beyond. Your persistence can change their trajectory.
Embrace their strengths: Remember that learning differences are not a reflection of intelligence. Celebrate their unique talents and help them build confidence.
Educate yourself: The more you understand about dyslexia and ADHD, the better equipped you'll be to support your child.