My ADHD Brain, Menopause, and the Chaos of "Happy" Hour

A woman thoughtfully gazes into the distance, wrapped in a cozy scarf, embodying strength and resilience while navigating the transitional phase of menopause.

Let's talk about my brain. Specifically, my ADHD brain. And then let's throw menopause into the mix, just for kicks. Because if you thought ADHD was a wild ride, imagine it with a dash of hormonal rollercoaster and a sprinkle of forgetfulness that makes you wonder if you left the stove on... or if you even have a stove.

For much of my life, my ADHD was like a mischievous, but familiar, companion. I learned its quirks: the brilliant hyperfocus followed by the sudden derailment; the endless mental to-do lists that rarely made it to paper; the 'out of sight, out of mind' phenomenon that explains why my keys are always in Narnia. I developed strategies, built a career, raised a wonderful (also ADHD) son. Life was a constant dance, but a dance I mostly knew the steps to.

Then came the "change." Menopause. And oh, how it changed things.

When ADHD Meets Menopause: A Brain on Overdrive

Menopause, or perimenopause leading into it, introduces a whole new level of brain fog and cognitive disruption. For someone with ADHD, it’s like adding jet fuel to a already buzzing engine, then throwing a wrench in the gears.

• Memory Meltdown: That familiar ADHD "out of sight, out of mind"? Now it's "it was just in my hand, now it's in another dimension." Menopause affects verbal memory, word recall, and the ability to retrieve information. For an ADHD brain already prone to word-finding difficulties (where you think one thing, but different words tumble out), this became an Olympic sport of frustrated "thingy-ma-jigs" and "what's-its-names." It’s infuriating when you know a word, but your brain just won't cough it up on command.

• Focus, What Focus?: ADHD challenges working memory and sustained attention. Menopause amplifies this, making it even harder to concentrate. What used to be "squirrel!" moments are now "entire woodland creature convention!" Trying to focus on a task can feel like trying to catch smoke. The ability to filter out distractions? Gone. The ability to switch tasks efficiently? A distant memory.

• Emotional Rollercoaster (Now with Hormones!): ADHD often comes with emotional dysregulation – intense highs and lows. Menopause brings its own set of hormonal mood swings. Combine the two, and you've got a symphony of emotions that can swing from ecstatic joy to tearful frustration in minutes. The irritability can be next-level, making patience a mythical creature.

• Anxiety and Restlessness: My anxiety, which was largely manageable, took on a whole new life post-menopause. That deep, burning redness in my cheeks after a stressful event? That’s my brain saying, "Welcome to the new normal of heightened anxiety!" The constant low hum of restlessness, the inability to settle, became amplified.

My "Happy" Part of Life? Yes, Really.

So, how can this chaotic cocktail be a "happy" part of my life? Because it forced me to confront and truly understand the interplay of hormones and neurodivergence. It stripped away old coping mechanisms that no longer worked and pushed me to find new ones.

My journey through ADHD and menopause has solidified my belief in holistic care. It's not just about managing symptoms with medication; it's about understanding the intricate dance between your brain chemistry, your hormones, your environment, and your learned behaviors. It's about:

• Radical Self-Compassion: Realizing that these struggles aren't moral failings, but neurological and hormonal realities.

• Acceptance and Adaptation: Acknowledging that my brain is different and finding new ways to work with it, not against it.

• Leveraging Strengths: Recognizing the benefits that often come with ADHD – creativity, hyperfocus when engaged, resilience, and unique problem-solving.

• Seeking Support: Understanding the profound impact of connecting with others who "get it."

HC Telepsych NP